Exam Charm.

When it's time, my mind goes into a full panic mode where I either

1. Frantically begin to borrow notes I never bothered to take during the semester, making calls, sorting through all my stuff trying to find my own notes
2.Lay back and say "F*# it" because I tried to understand the course work but totally couldn't.

I never fail to wonder who in the world came up with the idea, though. It was probably meant to be a big joke that professors and lecturers took a little too seriously.
My theory is that it's punishment for my sins. Why else would life force me to torture myself with tonnes of notes and curriculum work while I could be out living and being human, experiencing nature and making children laugh and...?

During the first couple of weeks of the semester, I'm normally at my most optimistic and ambitious even when holiday hangovers are still conc.and try my best to set the study mode in my head.Targets are set, and motivational and inspiring quotes in posters and sticky notes decorate my walls. After the first CAT, I need to get more inspirational quotes.

I studied (read "suffered") for four years for an exam that lasted about three weeks in highschool. And for the past three months, I had to lock myself indoors in the name of disciplning myself to concentrate in revising for an exam that lasted 3 days. Those 3 days dragged on for like ever. I kept going over the exam timetable but that didn't help move time along. Nope.
I bet if exams weren't compulsory, I'd be more willing to test myself. I'd appreciate challenging MYSELF so much more. But the stuff that happens when exams approach, man.....

1. All my notes go missing or
2. I realise I never really had the right syllabus notes or
3. That evil voice in my head that convinced me to miss lectures starts LOLing at me non-stop.
4. Everything that didn't fascinate me all through the semester become so damn interesting; organizing my closet, scrubbing my bedroom floor, texting my ex back after 5weeks, looking for a part-time job...

Bedtime changes to 2am because there's so much to cover. And I push myself to do my very best simply because I've never been good with failure. The exams do their best to make a fool of me too. The papers I worked very hard on tend to have questions meant to ensure I fail by not making sense. And the ones I never really took my time to perfect turn out more managable.

Exams suck.
Thank GOD for holidays.